Thanking God For The Dust Bunnies

My Housework Schedule:

Today - do what I absolutely have to do. Someday when I have time - do everything else.
(Denny Davis)

I've often been asked how in the world have I've been able to homeschool four children, manage to keep a clean home, have a good marriage and family life while helping out at church... and NOT go insane. 

Before I answer, I start out by asking them a question, "Do you want the short answer or the long one?" You see, I determine my answer based on theirs. If they want the short answer, then I tell them it's all about organization. Quick, simple, and to the point. Exactly what they wanted. But for those brave few who really want to know, I start with the cold hard truth. 

From my experience I've realized those who want quick solutions can't handle my answer and end up not taking any of the advice they asked for. So to save me the energy, I first test the waters to see how much they're really willing to sacrifice to acquire the results they want in life. When I'm convinced they mean serious business, that's when I spring it on them. 

That's when I tell them the unvarnished truth. I basically tell them to prepare themselves in advance... for a breakdown. Yes, I'm serious.

Anytime we determine in ourselves to do something exceptional in this world, a breakdown of every unstable thing we put our trust in is inevitable. The key to overcoming it is to accept in advance that it will happen. Once we survive and learn from it, our goals become suddenly achievable. 

You're probably wondering, "What does having a breakdown have to do with running a home smoothly?" 

Our undoing teaches us some very important lessons so we can do the job well. Some lessons like....

• realizing we can't do everything alone
• learning to finally say "no" without guilt
• learning we are happiest when we abandon the need to measure up to other women
• acknowledging and accepting our weaknesses - that's it is OK not to be perfect
• seeing the need for and desiring growth in our now exposed weak areas

It's during those mini breakdowns that we begin to understand that it's our humility, not perfectionism, that supply us the ability and strength needed to accomplish the goals we set out for our family. That's when we make peace with our imperfections and actually start thanking God for the dust bunnies.  

But when we forget the lessons that we've learned and start trying to do God's job for Him again, soon enough we are reminded that He's the only perfect One qualified for it! 

In a nutshell, the most important ingredients to keeping our family strong is through our humility and reliance on God. Both provide the strong foundation for a solid and happy family life. 

In the next part of my blog I want to share the tools I've gathered over the years that are in what I call my "family toolbox". These tools, along with humility and trust in God, have helped to build and strengthened me and my family.

The first tool (which I believe should be a part of every family's toolbox) is the Word of God. Reading and following scripture provides the foundation needed to cultivate an atmosphere of peace and harmony in our home. 

Daily reading of scripture lays the groundwork for character development in both us as parents and our children, and provides the framework for individual maturity and personal success. 

I recommend everyone in a family have their own daily devotions. I suggest using a reading plan that each member of the family enjoys and writing down what God shows them in their own journal. Hearing God's voice daily keeps everyone on the right track throughout the day.

An excellent (and free) reading plan I follow online is The One Year Bible Plan. I like this plan online because I can read the Bible in a year in any version I want and listen to it audibly whenever I need to.

Aware that our time here on earth is short compared to eternity, I try to be a good steward by using it wisely. Once our time is lost we cannot buy it back, which is why in my opinion time is more valuable than money.

So the next tool in my family toolbox is following a daily routine. By planning personal devotions, family time, time with my spouse, etc., makes these things a priority and helps ensure that they actually happen. 

The best way to create your own family routine is to list those priorities that are non-negotiable first, then use that list as a guideline to building a daily routine. I also recommend involving your family in this process.

Any routine that is overwhelming is not doing it's job properly. To make a routine that really works, schedule breaks in between chores or events to give you and your family enough time without feeling hurried or stressed. Remember, the goal is to be with your family, not to just get the chores done.

Here are some additional tips for making a daily routine that works to serve you and your family, instead of the other way round...

• Pick up the house the night before - make it a family bedtime routine; assign each family member an area of the house
• Get at least eight hours of sleep the night before - this is crucial, you won't be at your best the next day if you're exhausted
• Schedule time at the feet of Jesus each morning - set your alarm early enough so you can have time alone for devotions and to look over your 'to-do' list before the kids wake up
• Eliminate distractions - this is a tough one, but crucial in eliminating stress. No television, Internet surfing, time on the telephone just "shooting the breeze" for no good reason, shopping just for fun (this includes online browsing) and NO Facebook. Schedule set times in your routine for all these things so they don't take time away from what you need to get done and from time with your family
• Plan things you need to get done in advance - keep a notebook with a list that you cross off, or it can be as "serious" as an official planner where you have the weeks and months mapped out with your priorities and goals
• Schedule time for yourself daily in your your routine

Below shows my daily routine at a glance.

I schedule several breaks for myself throughout the day. I do this so I don't get burnt out. Being an introvert (read my blog, Finding Freedom In My Hamster Ball, for more on Introversion), I have to make sure I take time out throughout the day to recharge. 

I do most of my errands, library, park, medical appointments, etc. between 2-4 pm. If my family has nothing scheduled on a particular afternoon, we all do what we like for the day. Remember, your routine is your best friend, not your taskmaster. Try to leave pockets of time open throughout the day for unexpected emergencies and some spontaneity. 

Everyone has their own unique groove. Find yours and stick with it as much as possible.  I say "no" to a lot of "extra stuff" that other folks are doing.  Summers are the exception, but during the school year, we don't do a lot of running around. (Are you trying to be like other parents? Quit that!)

Next in my family toolbox is my organizer binder and meal planner. These are used for my long term planning.

I take 15-2o minutes a week to review and update my binders. Everything I need to get things done, including homeschool (I follow the Charlotte Mason Method if you're curious), is placed in my binder. I've been using binders for several years now. 

To best explain the use of binders, I've included this link, The Peaceful Mom Brain In A Binder. There's many ways to organize a binder so don't feel you have to do it this way.  I also use a great free website for printing up my own custom planners. 

To save myself from hearing those dreaded words, "What's for dinner tonight?", I use a second binder that has twenty-one simple meals (which I've acquired over the years) that I printed up and rotate through. 

My weekly shopping list is made on the computer three weeks in advance and rotated as well. When I'm ready to go shopping I just take that week's list from my binder, check off what I already have in the house and head out the door. 

FYI: Many of my recipes have 5 ingredients or less (not including salt and pepper), which saves me a lot of time and money at the supermarket. I use my crockpot A LOT, which saves me time spent in the kitchen. 

Another time saver is not having to cook every night of the week. This affords me the ability (and energy) to take part in any last minute family activities without feeling stressed about needing enough time to cook. 

I cook only four nights a week. Tuesdays through Sundays, two days on and one day off. The days off are reserved for leftovers (I always double my recipes so we have plenty of leftovers). Monday nights are soup and sandwich nights, which not only help saves us money (especially if it's homemade, which I do), my family sees it as a treat and looks forward to it weekly .

Next in my toolbox is teamwork. Every able body is enlisted for daily chores. Housework responsibility is divided out according to age and what each kid is physically able to do. Below is a sample of one of the kid's "to-do list". You may notice it's been scribbled on (which tends to happen). I print out new ones every so often.

The kid's 'to-do' list does not include any of the outdoor chores or special projects their dad has for them. They report directly to him for those. 

We do our major house cleaning maybe 3 or 4 times a year. It's during those "big cleans" we allow our kids the opportunity to make money by selling the stuff they don't use or want in our yard sales. This has been pretty effective in motivating them to de-clutter their rooms on their own!

I hope these examples help show how planning ahead can make the things you have to do easier and take less time so you can enjoy doing more of what you want to do with your family. And that's what having a daily routine is really about anyway.

The last two, but very important tools in my family toolbox is spending quality time with my husband and time alone pursuing my own hobbies and interests. 

At least twice a week my husband I spend time together without the children. Time together doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It can be as simple as taking a walk through the park downtown, strolling on the beach, or watching a moving at home without the kids. As long as we are together spending quality time, just the two of us a few times a week, we've reached our goal.

Spending time alone as a mom is also super important, especially one's with busy households. Having hobbies that fulfill and replenish us helps to center us and make us happier parents. Make sure to build it into your daily routine to ensure you get that time you need for yourself.

I personally enjoy browsing through bookstores, visiting museums, reading on the beach, etc. Basically things that are calming and pleasant. I've recently begun painting with watercolor pencils... and blogging.

I hope my blog has helped provide you with some useful tools for your family. Please comment and share with me what tools you have in your "family toolbox".

Web Resources:

The Peaceful Mom

Simple Homeschool (Advice & Resource)

Homeschooling 101: What Is Homeschooling?

Should I Homeschool Or Not? Part One (and here's part two)

The Best Homeschool Resources Online